Des,It comes down to a decision. You must decide i...

2008-01-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

Des,

It comes down to a decision. You must decide if you love your husband or not.

If you love him, the two of you need to confront these problems as a cohesive unit. Seek to heal division. There are apparently many hurts on both sides of your story. I am sorry. I am a soldier not a psychologist.
You should seek professional help immediately.

Jess

Is that it? “Daughter, be of good comfort: thy fai...

2008-01-23T22:29:00.000-08:00

Is that it? “Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace?”

I'm not sure what that means, to be quite honest. I am a born again Christian and my problems in this area have not gone away. Yes, they have been reduced because now I'm not empty, I know I have forgiveness for my sins so I'm not carrying around shame anymore, and God even took away the outbursts of uncontrollable anger and suicidal/self-mutilation episodes, but I still have major problems with relationships. I can't seem to trust people even though Jesus tells me to.
I obeyed Him and joined a church, and I even confessed all my lies to my husband, leaving myself completely vulnerable....only to be betrayed by him to a porn addiction.
I now can't be intimate with him and I'm still untrusting and extremely akward around my brothers and sisters at church. I'm sure they think there's something terribly wrong with me.

I dunno...I've been looking everywhere trying to get some insight on how a Christian should deal with this, but I find nothing. Perhaps I'm looking in the wrong place but I continue to ask God to help me and I'm not getting an answer. What am I supposed to do? I can't just shut off the things that are battling inside me. I'm trying and praying for more faith, and I'm reading my Bible pretty consistently, and sometimes I get to the point where I could see that God could deliver me from my fears, but then my husband touches me and I feel dirty and tainted. Then I feel forced into sex with him because Paul the Bible tells me not to deprive my husband, and I feel invaded and get bitter. Now I'm loosing sight of my God...the God of the Bible, YHWH and in my mind my God is becoming a god who doesn't care about what I feel or the struggles I'm having. Like I'm a bad Christian because it hasn't all gone away. I'm not having enough faith.
My spirit is made whole, but not my soul and body. I'm still living in a fallen body and that won't change until I am raptured or I die. In the meantime what do I do? I can't seem to pull it together and I can't seem to hear God in this even though I've cried out to Him over and over again as hard as I could with everything I have in me.

I'm really feeling discouraged and alone in this. Sorry if I've sounded rude in any way. That's not my intent.

Comments on Silent Planet: Focus Report: Borderline Personality Disorder

Des,It comes down to a decision. You must decide i...

Is that it? “Daughter, be of good comfort: thy fai...